A woman goes to her mothers funeral, and sees a man that she has never met before, and they lock eyes only once. They are not related. She goes home and kills her sister. Why? 

Her sister wasn't at the funeral... 

to see the man again 

to see the man again

LOL, this would make sense too :) 

Well there goes my sex change theory 

Her sister wasn't at the funeral...

nope

to see the man again

nope 

Sister killed mom. The man has nothing to do with it. 

During a visit to a mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criteria is that defines if a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub. Then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask the patient to empty the bathtub."

Okay, here's your test:
1. Would you use the spoon?
2. Would you use the teacup?
3. Would you use the bucket?

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket, as it is larger than the spoon."
What was the director's response? 

a normal person would pull out the drain plug?? haha 

What was the director's response?

why not use the drain? 

Sister killed mom. The man has nothing to do with it.

haha! CORRECT 

Win! 

a normal person would pull out the drain plug?? haha

Correct. 

A wealthy man had been counting his money. When he finished he accidentally left a $100.00 bill on his desk. But when he returned for it a short while later it was gone.

Only two other people could have seen the bill. One was the maid; the other was the butler.

The maid told him that she had hidden it for safe-keeping under a green book that was on the desk. But when they looked the bill was not there.

The butler said he had found the bill where the maid had left it. He had placed it inside the book where he thought there was less chance that somebody would find it. He had written down the page numbers so that he would not forget them. The bill was between pages 35 and 36 he said. But when they looked there was no money in the book.

After the man talked to the maid and the butler he called the police. He knew who had taken the money. Who was it and how did he know? 

The butler, it's not possible for it to be between 35 and 36 because those pages are back-to-back. 

The butler, it's not possible for it to be between 35 and 36 because those pages are back-to-back.

correct...though i suspect you either heard that riddle before or looked it up. I don't know anyone who knows that as common knowledge. lol 

I am not gonna lie, I did not know any of these, lol. Those are so good 

^ I know this, but will wait to hear others responses. 

Page 36 is printed on the back of page 35, there is no "between". The butler took the $.

ETA: I am late as usual. LOL 

There is a woman who hung herself in a room. The room has no windows, and the ceiling is 15 feet tall. The only items in the room beside the woman hanging, are a chair, and a puddle of water.

How did she hang herself? 

correct...though i suspect you either heard that riddle before or looked it up. I don't know anyone who knows that as common knowledge. lol

Neither. I own maybe 500 books and every single one starts with page one on the right. 

I just told my sister all of them, and she got them, boy do I feel smart. 

There is a woman who hung herself in a room. The room has no windows, and the ceiling is 15 feet tall. The only items in the room beside the woman hanging, are a chair, and a puddle of water.

How did she hang herself?

she used a block of ice 

she used a block of ice
indeed 

The more of them you take, the more you leave behind. What are they? 

foot steps! 

Name any word that becomes shorter even if you add 2 more letters to it? 

Short 

If Mrs. Jones' peacock lays an egg in Mr. Hall's yard, who does the egg belong to? 

Short
correct